


Lost and Found

by Hils



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-14
Updated: 2005-10-14
Packaged: 2018-10-17 08:34:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10590315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hils/pseuds/Hils





	

James Norrington was not a religious man. He believed in sense, reason and a man’s ability to forge his own destiny without assistance from God. In a way his lack of faith made his current situation worse. Had he been a religious man he may have been able to convince himself that he had been guided here, that fate had played a part and that God had some higher plan for him.

None of that was true though, and James knew it in his heart. What he couldn’t understand was how it had happened. He was a dedicated man, focused on his career. From an early age he’d known he wanted to follow in his father’s footsteps and join the navy. He’d applied as soon as he was old enough and had advanced quickly. His life had been proceeding exactly as he’d planned it until the day he proposed to Elizabeth. The day Jack Sparrow had entered his life.

Therein lay the root of his problem. It seemed Jack Sparrow was impossible to kill. It wasn’t through lack of trying on James’s part. He’d had Sparrow in his grasp on no less than three occasions, but unfortunately his grasp hadn’t been tight enough. Sparrow was now free once again, roaming the ocean and causing Lord knew what kind of mayhem. It was this inability to keep hold of Sparrow that had led James to his most recent meeting with Admiral Johnson.

_“James, I’m afraid I bring bad news from England. Word has reached the admiralty of your dealings with Sparrow and I’m afraid they didn’t take it well. Since your promotion was so recent I’m afraid they’ve decided you are not ready to hold this rank and they asked…insisted…that you be set back to Captain for the time being._

He’d been too stunned to say a word and had left the office shortly after that. That had been over three hours ago and he’d been alone since then. Plenty of people had tried to see him once his demotion had been made public, but he’d refused them all. One large glass of brandy quickly became the better part of a bottle, and once it became dark he crept out of the house as silently as a drunken man can.

That brought him here, to the tower of the fort where he’d proposed to Elizabeth, where the downward spiral of his life had begun.

He couldn’t blame them for reducing his rank. Men had died, good men, because he’d acted rashly. Maybe if he’d listened to Sparrow things would have been different. That was laughable -- a pirate trying to help him? No, he must have had some sort of other plan. It didn’t matter anyway, Sparrow was gone and James very much doubted he’d see him again. He would have to be a fool if he ever returned to Port Royal again.

James shuddered, suddenly cold with dread as to what his future might hold, and he tipped the last of the brandy down his throat. It burned his stomach yet did little to warm him. With a sigh of frustration he threw the bottle as hard as he could, watching it spin and spiral through the air until it plopped into the dark ocean. Who was he fooling? He wasn’t fit to protect this town. He couldn’t even keep an incompetent pirate like Jack Sparrow in custody. All that he’d worked towards had been taken from him and all he had left was ignominy and shame.

He walked towards the ledge and peered down into the darkness. Elizabeth would have drowned if Sparrow hadn’t saved her. James couldn’t even keep the woman that he loved safe. Was it any wonder that she’d chosen Turner over him?

James wondered for a moment whether anyone would have missed him if he’d been the one to fall instead of Elizabeth. He was a well-respected man, it was true, but he had no one in his life close enough to call a friend. No one to share stories with, no one to comfort him when he was in pain and no one to put fresh flowers on his grave when the old ones died.

He felt tears sting his eyes and he blinked them away. He had nothing left, nothing but the sound of the waves against the rocks. Maybe it was the brandy but it almost sounded as though they were calling his name. He leaned forward a little further

Then he allowed himself to fall.

For a split second he thought he heard someone call his name, then he hit the ocean and heard nothing.

* * *

Drowning didn’t feel as bad as he expected it to. His lungs burned for a moment or two and then he merely felt warm and sleepy, the way he had when his mother used to rock him to sleep. The world slowly faded around him until there was only darkness

Peace at last.

* * *

The next feelings he was aware of told him he was in hell. His throat burned, his chest hurt and he ached all over. So much for peace. He couldn’t even find solace in death.

“Commodore? You alive?”

Yes, definitely in hell. It was the only explanation for that painfully familiar and annoying voice so close to his ear he could almost feel the breath. Well, he would just stay still and keep his eyes closed until the voice went away.

“Commodore?”

He was being shaken now and he squeezed his eyes shut. He was a patient man if nothing else. The shaking stopped and the voice fell silent. There, that hadn’t been too difficult.

Then he felt lips upon his. Warm, soft lips.

His eyes snapped open.

Jack Sparrow pulled back, that ever so familiar twinkle in his brown eyes.

“There you are. I thought mouth to mouth might do the trick.” His mouth quirked into a smile

James gradually became aware that far from being dead he was lying on a beach, that he was soaking wet and that his upper body was being cradled by an equally wet Sparrow.

“What…what happened?”

“Saw you take a tumble and dived in after you. You can thank me any time you want.”

Memories crashed down upon James as he flashed back to his demotion and the vast amount of brandy he’d consumed.

“You should have let me drown,” he whispered before pushing away from Sparrow and climbing to his feet. Jack remained sprawled in the sand, his face showing no hint of expression for once.

“Now why would I want to be doing that? I reckon the world would be a far less interesting place without you in it, Commodore. Every pirate needs his nemesis after all.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, pirate, but it’s Captain Norrington now.”

For a title that had been so familiar up until recently, it sounded alien to him now.

“Oh…I’m sorry to hear that mate.”

James snorted. “Spare me your pity, Sparrow. I don’t need it from you of all people. And I’m certainly not your mate, do you understand?”

“Absolutely. It’s just…I know what it’s like to lose something you’ve worked your whole life for. When I lost the Pearl I—“

James began to laugh. “A ship? You’re comparing this to the loss of your ship? Let me tell you this, Sparrow, you have no idea how it feels. I—“

“Feel lost?” Jack interjected. “Feel like a part of you is missing? Feel like you can’t face anyone because you’re a mere shell of the man you used to be?”

James stared at him. How was it possible that Sparrow knew so well what he was feeling right now?

“I’ve been where you are, mate. It’s a dark place, nasty. I was marooned on a scrap of island when it hit me. Didn’t have anyone to talk to or help me and I was driven near-mad with it. I’ll not see you go through the same thing, mate, no matter what our past is. Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Like it or not I’m all you’ve got right now and I’ll not leave you.”

James was too drained and exhausted to protest. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep. Jack clambered to his feet and James didn’t protest when the captain wrapped an arm around his waist. He merely leaned on Jack and allowed him to lead him back towards the town.

“Come on, mate. Let’s get you home.”

* * *

To her credit James’s housekeeper, Mrs Taylor, didn’t express any surprise when the two soaking wet men stepped through the front door. She merely ushered them upstairs, insisting that they change into dry clothes at once before they fell ill. Jack was provided with one of James’s spare nightshirts before she bustled away to make up a guest bed for him in one of the spare rooms. Jack took the opportunity to sneak back to James’s room and tap lightly on the door. He didn’t expect an answer and after a moment or two he stepped inside. As he suspected Norrington wasn’t asleep, he wasn’t even in bed; he was standing at the window staring out into the night, his face a blank mask.

It actually hurt Jack to see a strong man like Norrington reduced to this. He never thought he’d live to see him broken and yet here he was, a pale shadow of his former self. It was amazing how one event can reduce a man’s character in such a way. Well, Norrington wasn’t alone now. If Jack was anything he was stubborn and he would be damned if he was going to leave before the navy man was trying to hang him again.

“It’s so quiet out there,” Norrington whispered, “peaceful.”

“Aye,” Jack replied, “but life will carry on in the morning, you’ll see.”

“I’m tired, Jack, so very tired.”

If Jack was surprised at the use of his forename he didn’t let it show, he merely guided Norrington over to his bed and waited while he climbed in. He then pulled over a chair and took a seat.

“I’ll be waiting here. Just in case you need me.”

James wasn’t a fool. He knew the only reason Jack was staying was to ensure he didn’t try to harm himself again. Truth be told he didn’t have the energy even if he had the inclination. It was strange, but the idea of having Jack watching over him actually made him feel safe. Like for the first time in a long while, he wasn’t alone. He closed his eyes and focused his attention on the sound of Jack’s breathing.

“You’ve used my first name, but you have not yet told me yours.”

The sound of Jack’s voice forced Norrington to crack open one eye. It was a fair question he supposed, and one which wouldn’t harm him to answer.

“It’s James.”

He could almost hear the smile in Jack’s voice as he replied, “Sleep well, James.”

He closed his eye and hoped that he would.

* * *

Jack hadn’t intended to fall asleep, but somewhere in the night he must have done because the next thing he was aware of was the sound of James’s muffled cries.

“No…I’m sorry…tried to…forgive me.”

He was becoming more and more distressed as the nightmare progressed and Jack quickly rose and moved over to the bed, shaking James by the shoulders

“Commodore…James…come on now, you need to wake up.”

James merely whimpered in his sleep and rolled away from Jack. Without a moment’s hesitation Jack climbed onto the bed and pulled James into his arms.

“It’s alright, luv. Jack’s here.”

Jack never imagined he’d find himself here, cradling a weeping navel officer in his bed. But then Jack had learned from an early age that often the unexpected experiences are the ones worth savouring. It wasn’t often that he had something to offer someone else, and if just holding the former Commodore would help then he’d do it.

It appeared to do the trick. James’s cries tapered away and his eyes slowly opened. The moonlight turned them from green into the colour of the ocean and Jack suddenly found himself caught in them, drowning and unable to look away.

“Jack?” James’s voice was rough from the crying in his sleep and the sound was enough to rouse Jack from his thoughts. He attempted a reassuring smile.

“One hell of a nightmare you were having there. Thought I was going to have to pin you down for a moment.”

“Oh, that’s why you’re in my bed.”

Jack couldn’t be sure, but for a moment he could have sworn that James sounded disappointed at the innocent reason for their current position. He stared at the former commodore, trying to read his face for any sort of deeper meaning. When he found none he decided there was only one way to gauge the situation.

He kissed him.

The kiss only lasted a few seconds. It was soft and tender and whilst James didn’t pull away he wasn’t exactly responsive either. When the two men parted they both lapsed into silence, staring at each other. Jack looked questioningly at James who merely looked stunned.

“You kissed me,” he finally said, his voice hoarse with emotion.

“Yeah, I did.”

“Why?”

Jack shrugged. “I dunno. Seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

“Oh.”

Silence fell over them once again, neither man knowing what to say or do next.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been kissed, and I’ve certainly never been kissed by a man before,” James finally announced.

Jack smiled, his gold tooth glinting in the small amount of light in the bedroom. “I’ve never kissed a navy man before so it looks like it’s a night of firsts for us.”

James smiled in return and rolled onto his side so that he was facing Jack. “You saved me tonight, in more ways than one. I never thought I’d say this, to you of all people, but thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“So…are you going to kiss me again?”

Jack quirked an eyebrow in surprise. “Do you want me to?”

James lowered his eyes and smiled shyly. “Well, it wasn’t an altogether unpleasant experience.”

“Lie back, luv, and I’ll show you just how pleasant it can be.”

James did as he was told and let out a small grunt as Jack rolled over and lay on top of him.

“You look a lot different without that ridiculous wig on,” Jack whispered as he pressed a kiss to James’s temple.

James smiled. “I happen to like my wig thank you very much. I won’t take advice on fashion from a man who braids his beard.”

Jack pulled back, a look of feigned annoyance on his face. “Do you have any idea how long it takes me to do that? Bloody hours! And I’ve never had any complaints before.”

“I’m not complaining. I’m just saying, you can’t really tell me I look ridiculous when you dress like that.”

Jack gave a playful growl and resumed his kissing.

James closed his eyes as Jack trailed kisses along his jawline until he finally reached his lips. This time he responded when Jack kissed him, opening his mouth and allowing him access. It was a strange sensation, having someone else’s tongue inside his mouth, but as they rubbed against each other he felt himself becoming more and more aroused. Jack clearly felt it too because as their lips parted he reached down and ran one hand along James’s now full erection.

“Do you have any oil?” Jack whispered, stroking James painfully slowly.

“What for?” James asked, slightly arching his back in a silent beg for more.

“You want more, don’t you?”

Without a word James reached blindly for the small cupboard beside his bed. It took a few moments of fumbling with the drawer before he found what he was looking for. The bottle of rose oil was used mainly for rubbing away tension after a rough sea journey. He handed the bottle to Jack and suspected this would be better than any massage.

“Roll over,” Jack instructed and James obeyed. The hardness of his erection made it impossible for him to lie flat on his stomach so he opted for his hands and knees.

The next thing he felt was one of Jack’s hands at the base of his spine, cool and wet with the oil. The hand lingered there for a moment and then slid slowly between his buttocks. James let out a gasp of pleasure as he felt one of Jack’s fingers enter him, massaging him gently and allowing his slightly clenched muscles to relax.

“Like that do you, luv?”

“Yes,” James whispered, his voice laced with desperation.

“You want more?”

“Please!”

Jack slipped a second finger in and James almost collapsed with how good it felt. He almost whimpered when Jack withdrew but the feelings of loss soon disappeared when Jack entered him fully. There was a small amount of pain to begin with but that quickly gave way to such pleasure as James had never known. He felt as though he was flying, floating far away with Jack at his side. No other sensation could possibly compare with this. He felt Jack slip an arm around his waist and start stroking him in time with his thrusts, that made him fly even higher.

“More,” he whispered with more ferocity than he knew he possessed. “More, Jack, more.”

He felt as though he might burst if he didn’t find release soon, if Jack didn’t move faster. Thankfully the captain seemed to realize this and as the speed and the rhythm increased James found himself floating higher and higher until he finally plummeted back to earth with a cry of pleasure as he climaxed. Moments after he collapsed face first onto the bed he felt Jack collapse on top of him. The two men lay there in an exhausted silence until James was finally able to speak.

“That was…I’m not sure I have the words.”

“No need for words,” Jack replied as he rolled off James and onto his back. “Just enjoy it for what it was.”

“…I think this is the first time in my life I haven’t felt alone.”

Jack turned his head to look at James who was staring at the ceiling.

“You’re never alone, James. Know that. I’ll always be around to be a pain in your arse.”

“Literally and figuratively,” James replied with a chuckle.

“Aye,” Jack replied with a smile before moving over and resting his head on James’s chest.

“Always,” James murmured, “I could get used to that.”

“You should. Now try and get some sleep.”

James nodded and closed his eyes. There would be no more nightmares, of that he was sure

The End


End file.
